Saturday, June 18, 2011

Julian's Memorial Service and Gathering of Friends

 It meant the world to me and I know to Julian also that the Marine Corps Honor Guard presented the flag at the beginning of the service.  Being a Marine meant a lot to him.  He had a Marine temperament.  He was brave, careful, meticulous and without fear up to the end.  He was on the Marine Corps rifle team and then ran the rifle range at Parris Island during the Korean War.  He carried his rifle to high school every day to practice.  My, that was a different day and age.  Now you get kicked out if you even bring a toy gun to school!   "Some people live an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference in the world, Marines don't have that problem." ~ President Ronald Regan.  Thanks, Marines for your service.  They came an hour before the service to make sure that the flag was folded correctly (it wasn't) and that everything would go smoothly.  That tells you a lot about why the Marines are the best. 
The memorial service was at our church, First United Methodist on Central and Missouri in Phoenix.  We (meaning my family) visited it soon after it was built in 1952 when my grandparents were here visiting from Australia after Jacki was born.  I think my Grandfather who was a  Methodist missionary in the outback of Australia when he was young wanted to see the stained glass windows.  The stained glass windows at First Church are beautiful and inspirational.  Small world that years later it ended up being our church (My Mom goes there also).  I couldn't have planned the service without the help of Nancy in the church office. I didn't know what to do or how to start, she did.   Much moral and emotional support was given to us by Rev John Flowers who visited in the hospital and Rev Karen Vannoy who lead the service.  My good friend Don Benton who is also a Methodist Minister also helped plan and took part in the service.  Don and his wife Jana were Stephen Ministers with me  years ago and they also knew Julian.  

The Marines folding the flag
"To observe a Marine, is inspirational. To be a Marine, is exceptional." ~ GySgt Charles F. Wolf, Jr.
Nick Newberry gave a wonderful tribute to Julian's work as an architectural illustrator
Kelsea Walkley tied her memories of her Uncle Julian to faith and God's creation.  Julian didn't go to church very often, however, in recent years even before he got the cancer diagnosis he was walking his own faith journey.  Some of our closest times as a couple were when we took turns saying a blessing each night before we ate.  I wish I could have a tape recording of how he pronounced the word blessings in his southern accent.  It always touched me.  Somehow praying out loud together and discussing our deepest concerns and blessings helped us feel so close.  The last months of his life he told me over and over that he felt at peace and was not afraid.  He didn't quote John 14:27, but that verse was basically what he told me over and over again.  I am at peace, I am not afraid.  Part of that verse says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled".  He told Faye over and over again that he wanted to know that I would be OK.  I told him a couple days before he died that I would miss him, but that I would be OK.  I think he was waiting for that reassurance from me that I would be OK.  I will be OK and am trying very hard to not let my heart be troubled. 
Julian talked for the children and told some funny stories of his Dad including a story of how his Dad taught him very important things such as how to lie when necessary.  Just a side note on that; Julian always told me, "if you are ever pulled over and asked if you have had anything to drink, always say, No, Sir."



 Kelly offered up a prayer. As long as I have known Julian he has wanted to have a closer relationship with her.   It has been wonderful that we have got to see Kelly so much over the past few years and that they got to make up for lost time.  It meant so much to Julian.  Not the same as those missed childhood years I know, but wonderful none the less.  Kelly is one of the strongest and inspirational people I know and she has given me strength.  Kelly sent us a book called, "The Red Sea Rules".  We took turns reading it out loud each night before bed.  It was very helpful for the cancer journey.  Some of the most important rules for us were: "Realize that God means for you to be where you are", "Envision God's enveloping presence" and "View your current crisis as a faith builder for the future".  You will have to read the book to  learn the other rules.  Thanks Kelly and Happy Birthday on June 20th!  We now move on the the Gathering of Friends celebration at our home.  I really enjoyed this time with family and friends from near and far. I loved seeing the kids playing and having fun together.  I loved time individually and in groups with all who attended.  It was very magical and healing.  I cherish the times with those who were here before to help get ready after including Faye and Javier, Kirsten, Jacki, Larry, Kelsea, Sean and girls, Ryan, Nick and May.  Julian's 3 sisters Dawn, Jeannine and Linda entertained us all with their stories. It was great that a few out -of -towners were able to stay till the next day including Julian and Camille, Star and Blaine and Virginia.   I loved our afternoon tea time when we could relax and enjoy each others company.  Those who provided comfort food are too many to mention, but the choir and friends from church and Stephen Ministry, Camille's Mom Reiko, the Gonzalez family and May were big contributors.  Thank you all.  You are blessings in my life. 
Sean and Jules
Rowan
Making mud pies

The sisters table

Aubee and Rowan

Mom

Airah and Dylan

Bailey and Jules

Yours truly and Kelsea

Jacki

Telling stories the day after