Getting in the spirit and Fun with Jules

I put up my Christmas lights today.  I hadn’t decided for sure if I would put them up or not this year.  I was surprised by joy when I saw the Christmas decorations up in church this past Sunday and decided then that I would decorate.  It makes me happy to come home at night during this holy season and see the lights shining.  It reminds me of the Star of David and the light that Jesus brought into our world.  So far my house is the only one on my street to have lights up.  It looks gorgeous. Maybe I'll get my Christmas tree up tomorrow.  We'll see.  I've caught up on all my grading till Sunday (another paper is due Saturday at MN). 

Look at that cute face and smile

11-03-11

 My granddaughter, Jules, and I dance together often.  It is fun and makes us both happy.  Sounds weird, but it is fun and freeing and I feel like I will have a life again at those moments.  We hold hands and dance, she looks down at my feet like she wants to either step on them like kids do or just move her feet like mine.  She lets go of my hands, dances by herself and turns around to the music till she's dizzy and falls down.  Sometimes I pick her up and we swing around to the music till she bends her head back, giggles and laughs.

 Sometimes my Mom is here.  Jules and Grandma Coral dance together and that is so cute to see, the two of them dancing (see below).

The other day Jules went around the house pointing to Julian's picture saying, “Papa” over. I told her stories about things they did together and told her how much he loved her. It was very touching.  She can say many words now, duck, tank ou, eye, nose, purse, Mama, Nana, No, bye are the ones that come to mind.  She often repeats a 2 -3 word phrase which definitely has the correct inflections and intonation.  We were at the little school last Friday.  She had a guest sticker on her shirt that had a red apple on it. She was looking at a book that had a red circle the same size, shape and color as the apple.  I say not a word.  She looks at the circle.  Then looks down at the sticker, takes the sticker off her shirt and sticks the red apple right over the red circle! 

She loves to talk on the phone.  She will walk around the house with a phone to her ear just chattering away in whole sentences of baby talk.  When she get on the phone and there is really someone talking to her on the other end she is so amazed to hear the voice that she doesn't say a word. 

Jules and Grandma Coral Dancing up a storm

Jules with Koala Lou

Koala Lou and Jules

She loves to hear Stodies (stories).  She will pick up Koala Lou and then she says stodie and goes and gets the "Koala Lou I do Love You" book.  We make it though about the first 2 or 3 pages and she is on to something else.  Yesterday she was digging in her toy basket and found the duck hand puppet which we hadn't played with for at least a month.  She immediately puts it on her hand just like she has seen me or Grandma Coral do.  If you see "Monkey" in this picture above, I will tell you a little story about him.  I made Monkey for Faye when she was little.  He became her favorite stuffed animal  (Teddy, made by Aunt Peggy came along later) when she was about Jules age. She always had to have "Blankum (her pink shredded blanket) and Monkey" with her.  We went to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico when Faye was about one and a half.  Well when we got to one of the big rooms of the caverns Faye realized that she didn't have Blankum and Monkey with her.  She started calling, "Blankum, Monkey, Blamkum, Monkey"  over and over again as we walked through that big dark room.  She ended up crying for Blankum and Monkey because she didn't understand why we couldn't get them right away.  Waiting wasn't a term near and dear to her heart infact I'm sure it wasn't even in her vocabulary at the time.  Well Jules likes Monkey too and I've told her the story of her Mamma and Monkey.  However, Jules favorites are BoBear and at my house Rosa (thank you Rowan and Amy). 

Jules and Koala Lou

The Dancer with fancy steps and hand movements

Carol & Julian good times

Hermit's Rest South Rim of Grand Canyon

 

Dancing at Kirs and Rob's Wedding

TGI Fridays at the Ball Park

Can you believe Julian chef who swears he cannot cook

Schultz Pass Flagstaff

  San Francisco Peaks Flagstaff

Star's Wedding

Hiking in Zion

Julian and Camille's Wedding, San Juan

Indian Gardens, Oak Creek

Yesterday was Julian and my anniversary. It would have been our 11^th.   This blog is in memory of our great times together.  Today is the 6^th month anniversary of Julian’s passing and I miss him so much.  However, it has been fun to search for pictures of us together and add pictures of places we both love.  I went a couple weeks ago to Flagstaff to see the change of seasons.  Our red maple tree that we planted by our front door up there was totally red and beautiful.  The aspens around the peaks were turning yellow.  I really enjoyed going on some hikes and drives to see the fall colors.  I’ve been busy working the past 2 months teaching my first group of nursing students since May.  I was working hard to try to remember how to grade all those papers.  I just finished yesterday and will start teaching another group on Tuesday.  

I think back on our years together and feel so blessed to have the years and the memories.  I miss his hugs, feeling him hold my hand, hearing his laugh and opinions about everything especially politics.  I miss having him to share our love of nature and beauty.   I miss him coming home at 6:10 every night when he was at the office.  I miss coming home from work and finding him outside working on carving a pot.  It was fun to see how much he did each day on the current pot.  He would always ask me what I thought about this curve or that carving technique.  He usually listened and often would even follow my suggestion.  I still feel that he is beside me in bed just at the moment that I'm falling asleep.  I miss every day things like sharing beautiful sunsets, rainbows, rain, our funny backyard birds, my flowers, his artwork or weed pots.  I miss him telling everyone with a twinkle in his eye that he carves "weed" pots.  I miss his jokes and how he always thought I was funny.  I would ask him what I did that is funny, he would say something that didn't seem funny at all to me and probably wouldn't be funny to anybody but him.
I miss sleeping with the windows open, feeling so safe with my Marine.  I will really, really miss singing the Marine Corps Hymn to him on the Marine Corps Birthday.  Well, what the heck, I'll probably sing it anyway because he'll want to hear it even in Heaven. 

Lower Emerald Pool Waterfall after rain

Family Times

Romey, Me, Jules and Grandma Coral

We had many family gatherings, but somehow I forgot to take a picture the one time that everyone was together. This picture was taken when Ryan and Grandma joined us for dinner.  Ryan is very busy working extra hours at Charles Schwab and working at the theater downtown whenever they have a show. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Traditional Monday Night at Sun Up

I'm having issues with formatting this blog.  1st it wouldn't upload additional pictures and then I cannot get it to allow me to type where I want to.  Oh well, it is no matter, pay no attention to it.  That is a quote from a book that Mom read to us or rather we read together because we would always take turns reading.  The quote has gone down in our family history, always there to remind us not to take things so seriously.

Faye and Kelsea, cousins

Archer and Romey

Romey the dancer

 Romey really loves the Disney movie Tangled about Rapunzel.  She states that the day she came to Phoenix was, "The best day ever!" and we made Hazelnut soup more times than I can count.  I saw it after they left and it is a really fun movie. 

Grandpa Larry with Romey and Archer

We had a great time when Kelsea, Philip, Romey, Archer and Larry came to visit!  The only people missing were Jacki and Julian.  Jacki was just here in May and again in June, so I can't really complain about her absence.  Julian is another matter.  We missed him and I miss him every day.  We had many family gatherings, but somehow I forgot to take a picture the one time that everyone was together.  Larry was here mainly to go up to Strawberry to help his Mom.  Kelsea et.al. went to Strawberry too, but didn't stay as long as Larry.  They also went to Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon and spent 2 weekends in Phx.  I really had a fun playing with the kids.  Romey had my undivided attention for imaginative play. She was sad when they left.  I was amazed at how much Archer matured since he was here in May.  He is talking and not as shy as he was last visit.  I will try to post more pictures from their visit now.

Romey and Grandma Dorothy

Four generations of Romeys

Walkley family go to the Grand Canyon

Mom and I

All the kids like to play the piano with me.  I have been  playing piano a lot lately, using it as part of my grieving to express my feelings.  Their are many songs that seems right now.  Sad songs, love songs, uplifting songs and hymns.  For example I play "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.  These phrases hit a key with me, "Son, can you play me a memory". (my music is playing memories) "I believe this is killing me, as a smile ran away from his face" (sometimes just like that the smile runs away from my face) "We're in the mood for a melody and you've got us feelin all right".  (playing music gets me feeling alright). I like, "let it be" by the Beatles for obvious reasons.  I like "Stormy Weather".  I like the score.  It's fun to play.  The words are sad, however there is a line that gives me endless hope, "All I do is pray the Lord above will let me walk in the sun once more".  It reminds me that after and around grief comes sunshine and happiness.

Larry's Mom's yard in Strawberry

Till the next visit, dance on Romey!  

California Dreaming

Me on Cliff trail at Capitola

I'm trying to settle into my new life without Julian. It's tough, but I'm doing OK. His work is all around me in our house and that is comforting. I often feel he's still here, especially when I am falling asleep, and around dinner time when he is due home from the office. I went on a trip with my Mom to California and I had the urge to call him each day to check in. I did call our home number several times just to hear his voice which is still on the answering machine, crazy huh!  Actually, maybe not so crazy because  Faye was very upset when she called and didn't hear his voice. She thought I had taken his voice off.   She said, I feel so sad but I understand that you have to take it off sometime.  I just have a backup message system now through Cox which kicks in when I'm on the phone and don't click over.
I have been forcing myself to do things but actually planning things is the hardest. Many friends and family have been around or have invited me places. This is good. The California trip was the first thing that I actually planned. I wanted to go, but it seemed so complicated. It really wasn't and we had a great time. We stopped at my cousin Gayle's house in West Covina on the way to San Francisco. We spent almost a week my sister Diane's house in Pleasant Hill. Diane and Bill took Mom and I to Napa, Capitola Beach and across the bay to Fisherman's Wharf. On the way home we stopped at Santa Maria to see my Uncle Dick (really my cousin, but he is just a few years younger than my Dad and they spent most of their summers together growing up). We also got to see my cousin Yvonne and meet her new husband Mike. Then we stopped in West Covina with Gayle and Bill before heading home to Phoenix.

This is one view of my sister Diane's yard.  It is large and she loves to garden.  It is always relaxing to spend time with Diane.  We always feel loved and taken care of.  She and Bill have recently finished remodeling the house and it was great to see all the  upgrades.  The kitchen, family room, old bathroom have all been dramatically changed.  I didn't think to take pictures inside.  The old bathroom now feels like you are showering outside.  The tile is rainbow shades of green, there is a sky light  and a big plant in the shower which tickles your hum-hum and flowers on the counter.
 

Mom, Bill, Billy and Diane in garden

Diane and Bill take 2 walks every day.  It gets them and Quinoa their dog out of the house.  Here we are hiking in a very large park nearby their house.  It is typical California landscape with rolling hills,  large old oaks.  There is a section that is an old walnut grove because this used to be a ranch.  Above is Diane with Quinoa.  He is a golden retriever and is trained quite well (or maybe that is Diane and Bill who are trained) except when he sees another dog.  Then he just takes off, won't listen and wants to play.  For example he finds and brings in the paper each day and after eating he brings his food bowl into the kitchen to be washed then when Diane says "door" he goes back and closes the door! 

Another view of Diane's yard

Flowers in Diane's yard

You may wonder why they can have so much green grass when Calif is often in drought.  Well, they get irrigation like I do, but it comes in a special water system instead of flood irrigation like I have.  They can set up the sprinklers to water whenever they like.  I think this area was agricultural, but I'm not sure.  I don't think that it is usual for California, but her whole neighborhood has this type of irrigation! 

Stay tuned for many great California adventures in the next blog, Fisherman's Wharf, the wine country and the beach!